Birthday Parties

Let it be said, I HATE kids birthday parties. I never thought I would say this but with a child on the Autism Spectrum, they are a painful thing. There's a lot of noise, lots of kids, lots of things sitting out that can't be touched, lots of presents that aren't his, lots of food he can't eat, lots of candy he can't have, you name it. When I get an invitation to a birthday party, I always cringe and dread the day. I'm not one to take these types of challenges lying down so, here's what I do: I make cupcakes in large batches and freeze them - thaw, frost, and decorate the day of and bring them along. I bring along candy from naturalcandystore.com and make sure both kids have been fed beforehand. If I know there will be pizza served, I will make them some and bring that along as well. No, Maxwell is not on a gluten free diet but with the two being only 16 months apart, everything has to be "the same". With all that said, parties are still not fun. I always feel like the overprotective scroogy mom that wants to wrap her kids in bubble wrap. No, Lambert, you can't have that candy, No Lambert, you can't have the Power Ranger Cake - it has artificial colors and wheat, No Lambert, that pizza has wheat...blah, blah, blah. Truly, I'm not trying to offend anyone but my child can't drink that Kool-Aid pouch or he will probably beat up every kid in the room and steal the presents. And, no matter what precautions I take, there is still that opportunity for a meltdown. Take today, for example, I brought juice boxes and cupcakes, fed the kids ahead of time, had candy at home to replace whatever was in their goody bag, but no matter how I prepared, there was no way for me to know about "The Water Balloons". Never mind the fact that they are water balloons and, therefore, instantly the most desirable thing in the place, but they were also for some unspecified time known as "later". So, my poor child spent 2 hours hovering around, asking about, picking up and putting down, and eyeing those water balloons from every angle - only to be told "it's not time yet". After two hours, it still "wasn't time" for the stupid freaking water balloons and Lambert's balloon sword popped -and the clown refused to make him another one (really, what kind of clown is THAT?). So, let the meltdown commence. Ugh, will this ever end?? He truly was a champ when the 2 year old cut in front of him in the face painting line and the two thousand times he was told it was "not time for the water balloons" but by 4 pm and the 2001th time, it was over. I am so sick of trying to help my baby and play nice with stupid people who don't know enough to not tempt kid with ASD for 2 hours with water balloons. I mean, seriously?? So, here's how I resolved things - I filled up a bunch of water balloons at home and let the kids destroy each other and while they were wreaking havoc outside, I made a new balloon sword. Yes, I learned how to make balloon animals this summer following another clown/balloon animal catastrophe. You'd be amazed at what you can learn on YouTube while a 6 year old is freaking out....Anyway, this is truly nothing but a rant for the day. Maybe someone can learn something from it? If nothing else, never, ever set temptations out at a party that do not have a concrete time table! Good luck all :)

Follow Up: So, after thinking about this overnight and getting over my frustration, I realized I missed a teachable moment. Instead of getting angry, I could have spoken to the parents responsible for the party and explained what was frustrating Lambert. I spend so much time in my own head that I just assume other people should just know how to deal with a child with ASD. And, well, Lambert is tricky. He is not detectable until he is...if that makes any sense. Anyway, I could have suggested the following: Put the balloons away until the appropriate time, set a time for the game and stick to it, volunteer to manage the game myself, at the very least, explained what was going on. I got frustrated and embarrassed and that only made things worse. When my world is about my children, it's hard for me to function at events that are about other people's children, especially when they are so contrary to the world in which my son can thrive. So, live and learn, and keep on growing...like a vicious and fierce weed ;)